So please please please keep us in your prayers that everything is going to work out and she is going to be just fine. I appreciate it guys.
Danielle & Brooklynn
Well I finished the last Harry Potter book last night. Wow, I wasn't expecting some of the things that happened in it. But I have to admit that I was slightly disappointed in the ending. I don't know, I think I was expecting more. But all in all it was a really good book.
I am normally not the kind of person that would get online and type up a whole posting about things that are bothering me…but I just can’t keep this one in any longer. This whole blog is going to be about my father. He has really been making me so mad lately and I just need to get some stuff off of my chest….here is my story.
I get sick of people saying that they are going to do one thing and not do it. My dad is famous for this. I remember when Jeremy and I were getting ready to move out of our very first house. My dad said that he was going to come up and help us move since he had a truck and we didn’t have the money to rent a uhaul. So we are sitting around waiting for my dad to show up and he never shows. I start calling all over for him because we were suppose to be out of the house like 2 hours ago. Come to find out he is up at my grandfathers house…drinking. That is when it all started. So yesterday I had to bring Alex to work with me. I called my dad in the morning to ask him if there was anyway that he could pick Alex up half way through the day so I could get some work done and I knew that Alex would be bored sitting here all day long. So at 1:30 my dad calls and tells me that he is not going to be able to pick up Alex. (surprise surprise) and I tell him whatever, he can just hang out here with me the rest of the day. My dad says that I am giving him an attitude. I just shrug it off. So I ask my dad if he is going to be able to make it to Alex’s birthday party on Saturday. (we made Alex’s party from 5-7pm because my dad always goes to the 50 mile yard sale in the morning and would not be able to make it to a party that started at like 1:00…so we made it later). I told my dad a couple of weeks ago that we made Alex’s party late so he could come. Well my dad starts himming and hawing and saying that they were planning on going to Harborfest on Saturday and did not know if he was going to be able to come to the party. His excuse: Alex is going to have all of his friends there and won’t pay attention to him. I told my dad that only 4 of Alex’s friends are going to be there and that it is mostly going to be family. I proceeded to tell him whatever, if you don’t come then you don’t come. My dad has only made it to 3 of Alex’s birthday parties so far and Alex is 9 now. What does that tell you? So the more I am talking to my dad the more and more mad I am getting. Usually I just keep everything inside and don’t say anything but I finally let him have it yesterday. I was so mad. Its like one excuse after another with him. And to be honest I think a lot of this has to do with Virginia (HIS wife). It is like ever since he got married to her he does more things with her family then us. Well whatever. Everytime my dad says he is going to do something with us he either cancels or doesn’t call or just doesn’t bother showing up at all. Then I get to hear this “why doesn’t Alex ever want to come and spend the night at my campsite?” Well you know why….ALEX DOESN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU ALONE BECAUSE YOU ARE HARDLY EVER AROUND HIM!!!! My dad then says “he goes to your moms every Saturday night and spends the night but he won’t come here!” Well that is because my mom has been taking him over night since he was 3. He is used to my mom and he is comfortable there. And if my mom has not seen Alex or me for that matter in over a week she will make the special trip out to our house and see us. She doesn’t like going long without being in touch with us. My dad is not like that…its like he doesn’t care. I just get so mad. I am almost to the point where I am like WHATEVER!! I just don’t care anymore. I don’t want Alex going through the same stuff that I had to go through while I was growing up. I want better for Alex. I just don’t know what to do about this anymore. Jeremy gets so mad at me whenever I talk about it because it always seems like I forgive my father for what he does. I never tell my dad what is on my mind. So that sucks because it causes fights between Jeremy and I. I just don’t get it. Doesn’t my father realize what he is doing? He is getting me AND ALEX to the point where we just don’t care anymore if he shows up or not to be honest. My dad is suppose to be picking Alex up from daycare today to take him out to dinner for his birthday. Alex says to me this morning on the way to daycare “what if grandpa doesn’t show up to pick me up?” and I said “then I will get you after work honey.” Alex shouldn’t have to ask me questions like that. He should think that whatever his grandfather says is true but he is starting to learn that that is not the case at all. My dad can tell Alex stuff until he is blue in the face but until my dad shows up, it doesn’t mean a thing to anyone. Poor Alex. I want to shelter him from that pain but at the same time I try to give my dad the benefit of the doubt. Is that wrong on my part? I just don’t know. And what about when Brooklynn comes? Will my dad even be around to see her after she is born or will he tell me that he will be there and not show up? I hate having to just wait and see what happens. It is not fair. I think from here on out I am not going to let my dad do this to Alex and I anymore. We both deserve so much better than this. It is tearing Alex and I apart inside. I know that it hurts Alex because I remember what it felt like when my dad did it to me. I am NOT going to let my son go through that. I won’t!
GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!! We are thrilled!!!!! We have lots of names picked out. Let me know what one you like best.
1. Brooklynn Nichol
2. Mackenzie Nichol
3. Madelynn Nichol
4. Autumn Nichol
5. Kimberlynn Nichol
We LOVE Brooklynn Nichol. Let me know your opinions. :-)
I know that I have been slacking in the updating department but there really hasn't been anything going on. Baby & I are doing well. I finally picked up his/her heartbeat the other day with my doppler so I can stop worrying. I go for another check up on July 3rd. I am hoping to be able to get an ultrasound and see what we are having. I can't wait. I am pretty sure that we are having a girl. Any suggestions on names? The middle name has to be Nichol after my sister. We were thinking about Autumn Nichol but there really isn't a nickname or a shortended version of Autumn. It does sound really nice together though.
I am definitely starting to show now. I have a little baby bump. I am 15 weeks tomorrow. The time is going by so fast. I am glad. It seems like just yesterday I was telling Jeremy that we were pregnant and now I am almost 4 months along. I can't wait to get the 1/2 way point. It is so exciting. Actually I just can't wait to have him/her in my arms and healthy. That is all I can ask for.
Well, that is all for now. I will update again after my appointment on July 3rd. Take care everyone. Keep baby & I in your prayers. I appreciate them very much.